Momerisms - Momisms

Momerisms : Moms Humor and Wisdom! Thank goodness MOM has a sense of humor! It's Momerisms [Momisms for short] to honor all that our moms give us each and every day! Ah, Momerisms : you'll seriously find the "er" in Momisms! People, can we talk? I'll bet you have a mom -- right? Is your mom known for her sage wisdom, advice and most importantly humor? My mom is infamous for all that, especially for all her MOMERISMS! Mom-ER-isms??? Humor and Wisdom from Moms: Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!

I've created this page to honor my mom and all moms out there. In honor of Mother's Day which should be every day of the year. And, particularly to highlight all the terrific momerisms we love them for. Momerisms -- all that is funny, sad, and true, including wisdom from moms worldwide! MOM-ER-ISMS! I'll bet you have a MOM who is famous for her momerisms! Be sure to give a shout out for your mom in my guestbook. Ah, what would we do without our moms? We'd be in a heap of trouble!!! Better pay attention to what your mom has to say folks!

Thanks to my mom for helping me create this humorous lens! Each day I get more and more funny emails from her. My mom is a human dynamo supporting the proliferation of humor virally!

Momerisms >>> Humor and Wisdom from Moms: Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! Thank you mom for being there and for sharing those momerisms, rather than keeping them to yourself; er, eh?

THANK YOU MOM FOR EVERYTHING!

Image Credit: Mom-isms: Wit, Wisdom, and Humor for a Mother's Heart.

Is YOUR Mom Famous for Momerisms?
Momerisms are popular with other MOMS! How Funny is YOUR Mom?

1. My mom has got the wildest sense of humor
2. My mom has a well-controlled sense of humor
3. My mom give me great advice; no humor
4. My mom has no sense of humor whatsoever
5. None of the above -- momerisms or otherwise

About Mom

I am a Nobody.

Nobody is Perfect.

Therefore I am Perfect!

Inspired by MY Mom!

I'll bet YOUR Mom has her Momerisms

Well, it was just another Wednesday and I opened up my email to find over 100 emails — 5 of them from Mom alone. Each and every one of them was about something funny. My mom has become notorious for her momerisms throughout the years. You see, I think she has a terrific sense of humor and can tell a really good story. She’s a bit of a storyteller — I didn’t inherit the verbal storytelling abilities from her. I did inherit the ability to write though!

As I was browsing her emails, I noted that these were pretty funny — and thought I’d create a lens to honor my mom and her momerisms!

Update: This just in from Mom — Today is International Disturbed People’s Day! Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend… just as I’ve done. Oh, thanks Mom! I needed that.

There's Nothing Wrong with my Eyesight!

I AM a GREAT Cook I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE Sometimes I even put it in the food.

OK, I'm Dating Now -- Bowel Movements are IMPORTANT!

Be Sure to Call YOUR Mom! Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Momerisms -- My Day is Picking Up!

Momerisms -- A Sense of Humor

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,

"Al, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the interstate.

Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Al. "It's hundreds of them!"

Momerisms -- A Scottish Man's Bar Stool

More Momerisms aka Mom-isms!

• I Want to DIE I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
• I Love THYSELF I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
• I'm JUST Borrowing I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
• Petty vs. Sweaty Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.
• Send MONEY I am having an out-of-money experience.
• Don't Eat TOO Much Meat Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. 

In Closing ...

Momerisms -- In Memoriam!
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at
the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very
important person, which almost went unnoticed last week
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "TheHokey Pokey", died
peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him
into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the
trouble started.

What's Cooking in Mom's Kitchen? 
Yes, no maybe??? Hey, drop me a line!
Are you a mom or have a mom who is famous for her momerisms? Have a funny story to tell … well, I’m all ears!

You Must Get This Book! : Momisms!!

Momisms is a collection of fifty-two sayings my Mother used throughout my life.

Some you have heard before and others may be new. The author has expanded upon them offering how they have impacted her.

Contemplate on one thought weekly using the journal to reflect your thoughts.


Ah, Momerisms : Mom-isms! You've got to love MOM!


History: Momerisms : Humor and Wisdom from Moms was originally created on Squidoo by JaguarJulie on March 18, 2009. Highest lensrank ever achieved: #953 overall. Lens #411 in the quest for Giant Squid 500 Club.

Putting Words in My Mouth

Putting Words in My Mouth(s)* - A little tongue-in-cheek humor exercise today! The Art of Wisdom : Animal Style! We have featured incredible animals in the spotlight in some truly captivating photos.

Important Photo Credit: Straight from the Closeup of a Grevys Zebra's Mouth.

It is a tongue-in-cheek focus on the mouths of animals and what they might be saying. Surely you have heard the time-honored expression of "putting words in my mouth." Yes?

Well, today we are going to have a little fun exercise with the caption me photographs from the animal kingdom. See how well you do with "putting words in my mouth(s)" i.e. the mouths of inquisitive animals. What would these animals and critters have to say? Putting words in their mouths! If we could talk to the animals, what would they say?

We've featured such animals as the Camel, Cow, Elephant Seal, Gecko, Giant Squid, Hippo, Horse, Lion, Shark, Snake, Tiger, and Zebra, oh my!

Feel free to exercise your sense of humor and creativity and have a little fun putting your words into my mouth(s), you know? Hey, the objective, after all, is to have a little fun with the captions. Don't be shy about "putting words in my mouth(s)!" HEY! Kiss me, I'm IRISH. Thanks for playing along!

Today's guest is Grevys Zebra Mouth Photographic Print by Tim Laman. Ah!

Pick your favorite mouth opportunity -- don't let this picture scare you away! That jaguar is tranquilized!!!

PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH(S)!
Follow along as we share some pretty exciting animal posters showing God's creatures with their mouths open. What do you think they are saying? Why not share your thoughts. Here we go ...

A GIANT Squid no less!
You know we have to have a giant squid!

1. Ah, may I say that you are indubitably tentacular my dear!
2. I tried out for the part of the Squidoo Squid. They said to come back when I'm orange.
3. Ah, this doesn't scare me! I eat giant squid for dinner!
4. How about a little tongue?
5. Is that all we're getting for supper?

"Giant squid can grow to a tremendous size. Recent estimates put the maximum size at 13 metres (43 ft) for females and 10 metres (33 ft) for males from caudal fin to the tip of the two long tentacles. The mantle is about 2 metres (6.6 ft) long (more for females, less for males), and the length of the squid excluding its tentacles is about 5 metres (16 ft)." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Camel Camel
OMG, what a mouth I say!

1. I wanted you to tie a string around my loose tooth and pull, not my whole jaw!
2. I can stop traffic with my breath!
3. Looks like my Irish mate Dennis.
4. A dental hygienist's nightmare.

"The average life expectancy of a camel is 40 to 50 years. A fully grown adult camel stands 1.85 m (6 ft 1 in) at the shoulder and 2.15 m (7 ft 1 in) at the hump. The hump rises about 30 inches (76.20 cm) out of its body. Camels can run at up to 65 km/h (40 mph) in short bursts and sustain speeds of up to 40 km/h (25 mph)." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Cow Wow!
Now that is one heck of a tongue!

1. Personally, I'm really NOT into giving tongue!
2. For Gods sake, pick it, lick it, roll it and flick it.
3. Not there. A little more to the right.
4. Just come a little closer.
5. How about a lot of tongue?
6. Hm, you taste good!
7. Good to the last drop.

"An onomatopoeic term for one of the commonest sounds made by cattle is "moo", and this sound is also called lowing. There are a number of other sounds made by cattle, including calves bawling, and bulls bellowing. The bullroarer makes a sound similar to a territorial call made by bulls." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Elephant Seal
They call it elephant for a reason!

1. Ah, let's see -- seal-ed with a kiss?
2. This is so boring.
3. Toss me a fish someone.
4. I can too put my whole fin in my mouth, watch this!
5. Oh Solo Mio.

"Elephant seals take their name from the large proboscis of the adult males (bulls) which resembles an elephant's trunk. The bull's proboscis is used in producing extraordinarily loud roaring noises, especially during the mating season. More importantly, however, the nose acts as a sort of rebreather, filled with cavities designed to reabsorb moisture from the animals' exhalations." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Gecko Anyone?
We appreciate this celebrity taking time to appear today!

1. Er, hello? Can YOU hear me now?
2. Those eyes have seen a lot of love.
3. I don't like to put too much effort into finding lunch. I like to sit back and wait for it to find me.
4. Really! You don't say. REALLY!

"Mourning gecko, originally an East Asian and Pacific species, Lepidodactylus lugubris is equally at home in the wild as in residential neighborhoods. Found in Hawaii, it may have been an early Polynesian introduction. A parthenogenic species. There is a report from Hawaii of someone having seen a larger gecko of this type eating a smaller one (or rather, running away from view with a smaller gecko halfway out of its mouth) on three or more occasions." Hey, we need a second opinion on that!!! --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Hammy Hippo

Hippo take two -- what a big mouth?

1. See that one way in the back? I can't seem to brush that one real good, no matter how hard I try.
2. Did you know I have a big mouth?
3. I saw a crocodile today, and it was thiiiiiis big!
4. Don't forget the fruitgums Mum
5. OMG!

"The hippopotamus is recognizable by its barrel-shaped torso, enormous mouth and teeth, nearly-hairless body, stubby legs and tremendous size. It is the third-largest land mammal by weight (between 1-1/2 and 3-1/2 tons), behind the white rhinoceros (1-1/2 to 4 tons) and elephants (3 to 7 tons)." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Horse of Course!
Heard the expression about having "horse teeth?"

1. 13 root canals and I can prove it.
2. Can you spare a toothbrush?
3. I told you I don't feel like taking you for a ride!
4. Shut up! I am not a jackass! You're a jackass!
5. YEEHAW!
6. Noooooooooooooooooo (read like the a slow motion vid)

"A 450-kilogram (990 lb) horse will eat 7 to 11 kilograms (15 to 24 lb) of food per day and, under normal use, drink 38 litres (8.4 imp gal; 10 US gal) to 45 litres (9.9 imp gal; 12 US gal) of water. Horses are not ruminants, so they have only one stomach, like humans, but unlike humans, they can also digest cellulose from grasses due to the presence of a 'hind gut' called the cecum, or 'water gut', which food goes through before reaching the large intestine." --courtesy of WIkipedia.

Lion's Pride
Whatever he wants to say; wherever he wants to sit!

1. Sorry honey; not tonight. I have a headache.
2. It's hard work sitting here looking good while the lionesses get my dinner.
3. Yeah, yeah, babe, I get it.
4. Ugh. Cat food breath. Where's my tic tacs?
5. O' Sole Mio
6. It's Monday again? I hate to go to work.

"Most lions now live in eastern and southern Africa, and their numbers there are rapidly decreasing, with an estimated 30-50 percent decline over the last two decades. Currently, estimates of the African lion population range between 16,500 and 47,000 living in the wild in 2002-2004, down from early 1990s estimates that ranged as high as 100,000 and perhaps 400,000 in 1950." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Shark!!!!!!
Wouldn't want to mess with this guy! Oh No!

1. Hey, I've got a tiger in my tank! ;)
2. My dentist says I have lovely teeth.
3. Shark! Shark! Shark! Shark! Shark! --did ya see THAT commercial?
4. Hi! Whatcha doin'? (works best read slowly and drawn out)
5. Works great for screening out the big stuff.

"Their needle-like teeth are highly adapted for impaling fish, their main prey. Their teeth, are long, narrow, and very sharp with smooth edges, with one and on occasion two small spurs 'denticles' on either side of the jaw." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Snake!!!
Wonder why they call me a parrot snake?

1. Sssh I lisp.
2. Hey, polly want a cracker?
3. I go back to the dentist next week to pick up my dentures.
4. Hey, anybody seen my dentures?

"Leptophis ahaetulla, the Lora or Parrot Snake is a snake found in northern South America and Trinidad and Tobago. It feeds on lizards, frogs and small birds." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Zebras Rock!
Ah, a mouth a mother can love!

1. Oo Oo! That tastes really bad!
2. Come on baby, give a kiss.
3. Pucker up, Baby. This one's for you.
4. You must stand in a straight stripe
5. Cheese!

"Zebras communicate with each other with high pitched barks and whinnying. Grevy's zebras make mule-like brays. A zebra's ears signify its mood. When a zebra is in a calm, tense or friendly mood, its ears stand erect. When it is frightened, its ears are pushed forward. When angry, the ears are pulled backward.

When surveying an area for predators, zebras will stand in an alert posture; with ears erect, head held high, and staring. When tense they will also snort. When a predator is spotted or sensed, a zebra will bark (or bray) loudly." --courtesy of Wikipedia.

Putting Words on Shirts With a Bit of an Attitude by JaguarJulie.
Check out Attitude Shirts : Words of wisdom and funny words!

Let's Try Putting More Words in My Comments!
Hey there! We sure do love our visitors -- yes indeed we do! Gosh, we sure do hope that you enjoyed your visit today and took some time to try your hand at putting words into my various mouths. Who knows? I’m a generous person and may even send the best words entry a prize from my ecrater store. You heard that here exclusively.

History: Putting Words in My Mouth(s)* was originally created on Squidoo by JaguarJulie on November 16, 2009. Highest lensrank ever achieved: #5,250 overall. Lens #573 in the quest for Giant Squid 600 Club.